The fact that I'm leaving this place in less than 2 weeks hasn't really settled in my mind yet. It's like I'm just living day by day without worrying or thinking, but whenever I stop to think about it I remember that I really don't know when the next time I come here will be, and it's been such an important part of me for this past year. Much more so than my last school, not because of the people or the classes, but simply because of where I am and what I have had to deal with because of being here. This school really becomes your home for whatever time you spend here, whether it's a year or four. I will miss this so much. I'll miss my friends, and my teachers (who somehow became my friends too), I'll miss my roommate and I'll miss Ariel and I'll miss my Chinese class. I'll miss every single part of campus, even though it's lost in the middle of nowhere and you can't really go out if you don't have a car. Because this has been so absolutely magical, and I sound so freaking cheesy. It's not the most common thing for me to get emotional, but when I do let me tell you, I am great at it. It's just crazy to think that even though I'll go back to Madrid, I won't go back to the place where I've grown up. There is still time to change and grow and it is very odd to think that it won't be here or there, but somewhere completely unknown to me. However, I trust the future to bring on more wonderful things because it's been pretty damn great so far and because, to quote my most current obsession: "- Can a man still be brave when he's afraid? - That's the only time a man can be brave." Game of Thrones
También es muy curioso como es de difícil el estar completamente contento, ya que aunque despedirme de este sitio me duele mucho, estoy contando los días para volver a Madrid, y si leéis alguna entrada anterior, lo único que podía hacer era quejarme. Oh well, isn't it in the human nature to find flaws in everything? 'Cause we sure are good at it.
Recibimos una muy mala noticia hace unos días, de la clase de noticias que no quieres repetir. Así que he estado pensando y analizando mi conducta en los momentos después de que nos la comunicasen y lo único que tengo que decir es que el tacto es un sentido que te conecta con todo lo que hay a tu alrededor.
places, and landscapes and dreaming are nice too.
I've been to number 3 and hope to go to all the other ones.
Y mientras su aventura llegaba al final, ella se preguntó qué cambiaría si de alguna manera pudiese. Después de reflexionar sobre ello, llegó a la conclusión de que no deseaba cambiar nada. Había habido errores y malentendidos, sí, pero eso no cambiaba las alegrías, nuevas amistades, experiencias positivas y sonrisas. Es más, esos momentos difíciles solo acentuaron la importancia de las risas y de las tardes bajo el sol. Porque, ¿cómo llegaríamos a apreciar buenos momentos sin compararlos con los malos?
Estaba orgullosa de sí misma, estaba orgullosa de lo que había logrado, estaba orgullosa de todo lo que había aprendido y como lo había usado.
Cuando hablaba con amigos en casa, ellos le repetían que no había cambiado, pero ella sentía lo contrario. Puede que no hubiese cambiado quien era, pero había crecido. Y de alguna manera, ¿no era crecer una forma de cambiar?
She still enjoyed the same things, she might not have gone wilder, but she had gone wiser. Or at least, she thought so.
She is brilliant, and in one video she was able to sum up my views of feminism in such a concise and beautiful way.
Feminism has been in my mind a lot lately, because of the whole "all-girls boarding school" thing. Also how much we all seek approval from everyone but ourselves scares me. We try to please each other and we get lost while doing it.
I haven't been really happy with the human race lately, so maybe going to the catholic school that my parents want me to go to would do me good. Or I can keep practicing Yoga. Either one.
I also have a lot of doubts about next year. I have to choose a path. And it'll be different and (probably) difficult and I'll have to start all over again. However, I have a feeling it'll be worth it in the end.
Last thing: I've been going through my old posts and I was such a whiny 14 year old 15 year old (wow, even posts from like, 6 months ago are just me complaining about how life is, "I AM ALONE IN A BOARDING SCHOOL. SEND HELP."). And it was just last year. I mean, I don't believe I've changed that much, I just feel like right now I wouldn't go telling the internet my exact feelings about a concrete person. Because you know, until farther notice, the internet is pretty public. And I don't enjoy people that I wouldn't tell about my feelings in the first place to know my feelings. I guess I learned a lesson, sort of. I'm still typing.
Look at me talking about very very random stuff while trying to be serious. Somehow.